Friday, February 01, 2008
a very happening week.
monday.
went out to JP for lunch with victor and karen. had so much fun. cos finally we stopped discussing and fretting over tech com cos the teacher is realy giving us such a hard time. omg.
joke of e week : i dont want to invite u to my wedding. if i marry you i wont have to invite you la!
reply : u wanna support her for the rest of ur life just cos u wanna save on one meal?
hahaha. anyway we're planning the singles night for vday. funny ah. haha.
then went to queensway with human it was such a rush. but we got our stuff. but no time for anchor point and ikea. boo hoo! haha.
tues.
only one lesson. sad case day. haha. met TK for lunch and ban mian at hall 13 is the worst ever. moral of the story. if u wanna eat, eat the well known to be edible ones. never ever try new things. esp those that u have never seen ppl eating.
and then dance. omg. it was so fast and so much like a roller coaster ride. girls do all the things in dance. we dip. we turn. we kick. everything. ok la. guys have to hold properly but thats abt it. haha. when is our turn to just pose and let them do the work. kinda glad i found a second partner in competitors class. in technique class my partner is simply so wooden and unresponsive. makes its so awkward to dance with him. i convince myself this is technical. haha. dada says me and my second partner look alike. haha. well for one thing he's been dancing for more than one sem and can lead well. and also its more stable dancing with him. but i have a feeling i wont be dancing with him next time. haha. and my whole body ached after that. the upper torso due to the turning and dipping and the legs due to splitting. its a sport. what do i expect.
wed.
supposed to meet jess for a movie but cos my elec ends so late we had to rush and didnt have proper dinner. i ended up having waffles. we watched 27 dresses. haha quite nice. and my elec was nice too. a movie called gattaca. they show nice sci fic movies really. i had to go early but effy said the ending was awesome. shall watch it online. silly effy says he will send me fried chicken wings in norway during raya. nonsense la. next somehow i went clubbing. dee told the whole world i was going. told everyone BUT ME. cos i havent been going for so long she told everyone i was going. and didnt TELL ME. silly girl. she'd better tell me on the day if i'm gg to be her bridesmaid and she didnt tell me i'm supposed to go for her wedding. lamer haha. went to MOS. so empty. we were so happy cos there was nobody u could just stretch. the podium was just like the few of us at the main arena. but then even smoove wasnt sardine land as usual la. haha and there werent weird ppl! yay! haha. there were banglas la. haha imagine dancing bangla to "the way i are" hahahahaha. omg. apart from the shoes that dee bought me hurt so much that i had to rest often and in the end wear suf's sneakers to dance i had a nice time. i will wear sneakers there next time. my adidas stan smith. to jump up and down. haha. the arena was kinda nice too with the live band except that we couldnt get a front table so we left. the back tables u couldnt see the band and action. couldnt wake up for class. we left MOS at 6 plus. am.
thurs.
very tired day but its jen's birthday so i went out with dee to get her birthday present. i got her diamond studs. oops no its cubic zirconia the next nearest thing to diamond in white gold. both of us went broke for that. haha. everything went into that. she was supposed to meet me at ten. but i had no news of which KTV we were supposed to go to cos Jurong's closes at 3 and we'd prefer the orchard one that closes at 6. her phone had no batt i guess. dee had to go though she wanted to accompany me. but her parents were calling. queensway was closing so i had to leave macs. waiting at the bus stop. in the end took a bus to orchard. waited at orchard mrt. some grp of matts were there. they wanted to come over so i left. i walked to lucky plaza macs. they followed. i was kinda horrified. i left to OG. some guard chased me away saying they are closing.. and i wasnt allowed to sit there. but they followed too. then i went walking ard the area hoping they'd stop. they did. and in the end some bangla came. and somehow i started crying. i dunno why. from looking at the clock and thinking what would i do if she didnt come or went to jurong.. thinking i was there alone cos i spent all my money on her present i didnt have enough for a cab esp since cab prices rised so much now and with midnight surcharge its so expensive back to NTU and i couldnt take MRT if the service stopped. i panicked. i was crying and crying. i felt such a loser and i told myself not to cry. jenny would come. she would never leave me alone. i had to just wait. but somehow i just could stop. i mean its really embarassing crying in the middle of orchard road with no tissue wiping everything disgustingly on my sleeves and makeup ruining and people looking. so i called linda to talk to her so people would stop looking and i could take my mind off being alone by chatting. the whole thing was not abt waiting it was about not knowing where to go and everything was closing and chasing me away. it was kinda stressing. waiting for a hint of where to meet and where i should go. i felt so lost walking down orchard road.that time felt like forever, i kept calling and sms-ing. i feel so stupid for breaking down. im 20. not 12. omg. ive never felt so alone in orchard till then. my mother called and i felt so sad that i had to tell her i was in hostel and she was saying what to cook on friday and i wanted so badly to go home but couldnt tell her where i was or go home. linda was so decisive when i called her. she said where are u now i will go pick u. its not safe and she asked her sister to drive me immediately and her mother was so sweet said.. the one with good skin right.. tell her to come stay a night la. but talking to linda really made me feel better and i told her i would wait for jenny. linda made me laugh and stop crying. i love linda. she kept telling me to leave but.. i mean its her 21st birthday. i could leave on anyday but this. surprisingly i didnt feel angry at all just very tired and scared all night. in the end i realised i could call her friends. not those with her but anyone from business to see if they had anyone's number. those who were with her. i did. and the girl was so shocked to hear me. i tried to sound normal to ask her for the numbers but when i asked where is jenny. i cried again. omg. now i think of it i looked such a wreck crying. anyway jenny came and we sent her friends home and werent home with her to get her stuff and we left for NTU. i was too tired to go anywhere so we just went back to hall bathed and slept. i was so emotionally tired. but i was really happy jen liked her present so much. she wanted something simple to wear to work next time and i had this exact same idea too. to get something evergreen and simple. anyway thank god for linda. really. could tell she was irritated with jen. i know shes in the wrong but i can swear she doesnt mean it. she would have a reason. she was prob driving. and i was so tired.
fri
today i woke up with eyes one third of my original eye. it was so swollen, the girls knew exactly what happened. honestly i got such a shock. i have never ever seen my eyes like that before. shows that i have never cried for so long before. it was like a slit. so small. im like shit shit shit. like i couldnt open my eyes no matter how hard i pried. i was like omg. when linkesh talked to me i could only see his torso at eye level. the length my eyes opened too didnt even see his face. omg. they were saying i looked like a panda. everyone asked me if i was okay. i managed to avoid that embarrassing fact that i cried by telling ppl i didnt sleep enough. even sir asked me.. sleeping ah. omg. shows how bad it was. i have never seen the world in this light before. never. shows how damaging crying is. i finally know how people go blind from crying. omg. after i got home i got some smses from the guys in sch. asking if i was ok. seem odd the way they show concern cos they dont know how to phrase it and am scared to ask the wrong thing but try to comfort anyway but really im touched. no matter what u say. and even offer to let me hit with a pillow. which was what he would hate most normally. sometimes i'm glad my friends although think my character is crazy and unbearable still accept me for who i am and care for me. thats true friendship. i guess thats why i am one lucky girl. i fall among the clouds of their friendship cushioning me. thank you. even dee who had to leave but tried her best to make me happy throughout. and when i got home it suddenly felt nothing mattered anymore. no matter how much mum nags. and i finally admit i am now scared of going out late at night and im not as strong as i think. i'm happy to be home. in my room.
i have a lot to do this week with all the applications and stuff like projects. but i will try to relax to do everything the best i can. i'm happy to be home. and my aunt just bought me clothes. pants jacket and sweater. haha. so happy. from fox and esprit. okies tiring day. i will go sleep. to make my eyes as big as they used to be!
♥
7:06 AM
