Friday, November 23, 2007
lotsa things have happened but i think no matter what we are here for each other.
Happy bdae TK! we went to surprise her. Tim got me karen dada. Link w ah heng and dawn. i so felt like clubbin in his car. duno why. i think i go crazy at night. haha. She was so surprised she cried. and i nearly burnt my house when the microwave caught fire when i tried to make her cornflake cookies. fine i realise i dont even know what can be put in the microwave and what cannot. anyway we took lots of pics at her blk. but the silly not pro photographers got no good shots cos all was blur. tell me abt it. haha.
i feel so relieved we went to find her cos my heart just melted when she said something. which i shall not repeat here. nearly cried too. but what i can say is u selfish asshole. right. but we went for supper later near beauty world. nice food really prata naan satay. and everyone had a good laugh. link is a close to perfect entertainer. haha. and suddenly. i was kinda surprised seeing him. but this is getting bad. i dunno why but i feel so. i hope things dont turn ugly. ironic when u see the diff in attitude in both pairs. ones trying so hard. one doesnt give a damn. why!
saw someone beat up his gf and went over. luckily tim was with us. somehow no matter how much they say i am brave i still feel safer with a guy. esp when facing a violent indian guy. oh man i cant say enuff how much i wanted to beat him. she was crying so hard. so much blood. shes one year older than him. they are so young. like 15 16. and obviously mismatched yet still stick tgther. and his reason for hitting her so hard is so invalid. and she wont tell her parents. i hope shes fine. i told him not to hit her again. tim said i looked like i wanted to hit him and fight when i said that. wanted to really but wouldnt cos really guys always can outfight girls in terms of energy. i hate guys who hit girls. what is the world coming too. why are guys turning into monsters.
nice to have my whole family back with me. seems nice to have everyone ard. i like it that way. makes up for all the unhappy things i see outside somehow. that day ys did a game of fortune telling for me. to the first. we are seperated by many many things. duh. we are in so diff worlds. to the second, his heart is with me and so is mine with him but our person's are away from each other and most imptly. out hearts dont follow our persons. as in mine is not with me his not with him. haha. true. i dont know where my heart is. haha. what will be will be.
i want to be be a happy girl. i want everyone ard me to be happy. happiness can u hear me calling.
♥
11:57 AM
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
nobody seems happy nowadays. or even if they seem so its just to make themselves seem happy to others and themselves but then when its nightfall and they are alone everything that has gone wrong and will go wrong comes creeping back into their minds and the viscious cycle starts. but i guess the numbing is just to get us thru for now. i need to numb too. but the thing is i cant go anywhere;sad. someone just asked me to st james but i know that will tire me out totally. i need to let go. i actually wanna become someone else for a day.
♥
5:56 AM
Saturday, November 10, 2007
just wanted to talk a bit before the cruel exams start. hard to concentrate really. esp with all the stuff that they are still teaching and CANNOT FINISH YET STILL WANT TO TEST US ON!
okay. been seeing quite a lot of unhappiness going on recently. emotionally, rationally.. and everything. im surprised at my still rather rational mood now. sometimes i envy people who have it all yet in the end i feel the saddest for them when they lose it or it leaves turning out to shatter a dream. makes me wonder sometimes why try. but there is hope that things will turn out good and last happily ever after. right? i wish for everyone to be happy. to smile everyday. and that would make me very happy too.
everyone's trying to think of someone for me. they're all very nice but it just doesnt feel that way. actually i dont know what to feel. funny eh. but no time for this now. anyway not up to me. made me think of someone saying to me: you have too much girls in your heart and no space for guys. haha.
want to shop shop and shop. i want skinnies in every colour. ha. and why do i have to spend my 20th birthday doing physics in the early morning! i want to party away till 12am to spend my last few hours of 19th brainlessly doing things i dont have to take responsibility for. but apparently no. i have to memorise how the four stroke engine works. how cool is that.
♥
9:05 PM
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Moved into hall again. worried abt leaving the house empty but its a period where i gotta do what i have to. NOt bad really as in not as bad as i imagined. things have changed but i guess i just have to face hall with a different attitude now. plus maybe i no longer so called social in hall and just take it as a place to sleep when im tired and to do stuff quietly. and my room at the 6th floor is so cold when u switch on the ceiling fan at night! quite ok with the new conditions and roomie so far really.
that day i took my bro's gf out for their 3rd yr anniversary. quite fun. haha we ate a lot and i gave her the tigger bouquet i had to prepare for. It was so cute it was worth every ounce the effort. kudos to hy actually. she wrapped it. so sweet. chuck owes me loads. haha. honestly i would have felt very sad if i were her spending the day alone. u know if nothing happened today would have been my one year anniversary too. but then somethings are better let go and missed or remembered than holding on miserably to. sometimes i wonder what would have happened if i gave in. my dear sweet pair is having problems. i wish them happiness. cos they mirror me and him. i hope they will pull thru.
quizzes and quizzes. damn maths la.stressed.mum called from spain. loads on how nice the clothes and boots are. need i speak of my incessant envy!
everyone likes to think theres something going on with someone else and me.seriously. today alone i can count 3 diff ppl alrdy. and i dont mean the ppl who talk abt me but the ppl and so called targets said to be with/maybe with me. no there issnt. i just warm up easily to people and hence can brudder or sista with anyone. no there is no one who can melt my heart yet.
today is the first. 2 weeks to exams. a month to the end. damn saturated with nothing. i need the streets and orchard. and my honey milk bubble tea.
♥
10:32 AM
