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Saturday, April 14, 2007




okay its time for exams and ive finally got over the worst time of my semester. namely spending time in adm from 1130am t0 230am then 430pm to 330am two days in a row. even without air con and ventilation. you can so die in the darkroom. although photography gave me lots of extra stress and work but i dont think i regret any bit of it at all. ive learnt alot from there not only skills but perspective.

but the thing that was most cutting wasnt that. it was what i heard frm her. seriously it was only then and there that i knew why she was friends with her for so long. i used to wonder why since i saw no similarities between them but now i know why. Its in thinking of that anybody that behaves in a way that she cannot comprehend is impossible and in other words "different". I know what she says is to some extent correct but cant she understand that i just want to be who i want to be. I know that nothing can force me to change but myself so if thats the case then nothing will help. So then why cant you give me a break. At that time could you not tell that i wasnt in the mental capacity for that. Perhaps this is why the better of friends you are the more it hurts because i know you said that for my own good. i dont know. maybe it was the timing. Maybe its my character but cant u tell that since ive lived like that for the past nearing twenty years then its a hint that i go that way? and dont u think my other frens feel that way. well either they dont or they dont show it. thats what are friendships. accepting for who they are, not trying to change someone. I really know u mean well but before i myself can accept it. its not the time now. you told me u've given up trying but do u know u still are...i give up.

but i must say iam lucky and very lucky to meet the people i do along the way of my life and those who are just so nice. to everyone at pho 215 who made me cry in order for my smile to come out at the end of the day. Thank you. so much.

and later on fri i saw someone else. she was on her way to look for him. i nearly went nuts. he is probably the only person with the ability to stun me that way.

okay. i need to study.

♥
7:58 AM