Tuesday, February 26, 2008
lou has changed to sugarbunnies.wordpress.com.
have a feeling id be too irritated there and will be back. we'll see. haha.
cya there!
♥
7:54 AM
Monday, February 18, 2008
NOt in a sweet mood! tigger just left. i feel so sad. im so used to having him ard. i want to disturb him. pat his head. squeeze his flabby tummy. no one will buy food for me when i want it at the middle of the night anymore. no one is going to fetch me just cos im tired and i called. i miss tigger less than five mins after he's left. i even miss tigger telling me to "get lost. dont disturb me". tigger is boucing back to australia and with me in US and norway and him not coming back i think we can only see each other next year. =( not happy. feeling v sad and depressed at his empty room. i want him just lying there in his bed watching tv. tigger come home. =(
♥
6:05 AM
Friday, February 15, 2008
i never realised that term break came so fast and that my parents were gg to bangkok that very weekend. the moment i realised i got my dad to book and ta-da... i'm booked for fri's flight there! now i know i'm going ive tried to resist buying anything here. honestly ever since ive been to europe japan and bangkok. the stuff here i feel is neither here nor there. neither edge cutting fashion nor cheap. so ive bought a lot less. but they always say its still alot. i guess i have a lot to cut down on.
norway US and taiwan is coming. kinda scaring me out. but i know i must and will go and will end up loving it. need to start planning out all the places we wanna go. i'm sure i'll have fun.. met wei ni and qq that day and we talked alot abt norway. there are alot of things to consider i realise.
vday was spent with victor dada karen mainly outside in bugis eating and walking ard. kailun and terry came too later and we ended up eating lots of cakes in coffee bean. haha. my bag was surprisingly heavy. i think i cant carry sling bags anymore. i'm so used to my backpack that it hurts now to carry. thanks to my sister, victor for carrying it. actually i feel its quite nice to be his sister esp if its the real one at home. well i also have my tigger elder bro. =)
finally did my medical checkup. got the injection. haha nurse used a walking and talking elmo to let me play with while she did it. hand still feels weak. bought my new shampoo and bathing stuff finally today at queensway. wanted to go so long but didnt buy cos all so heavy to carry la. must drive.
my online stuff is not coming! i cant believe how slow it is. i better stop buying in case i've left for US when the time they come and thats virtually useless. firstly the tops. all out of stock. how can! ive chosen replacements dunno if they are in or not. then the cam. it better arrive before i leave cos i wanna bring it there! and the dresses. and my accessories. why are they not coming!!
quiz on mon. stressed man. realised i need to up my level of maturity, EQ, and ability to handle all the little things. like admin work and little naggy stuff that needs my attention. i guess ive been leaving these things to others for so much in my life that ive lost the brain power to do it. ive always thought i was lucky and blessed. but really will luck be with me forever. i guess i have to learn how myself. so one day if anything happens i will be able to do it. BUT somehow stupid me wishes that day will never come. no. louise you have to handle things yourself.
♥
4:28 AM
Thursday, February 07, 2008
hey hey.. its the first day of chinese new year! not much happened actually mainly the routine of eating and eating and eating.. haha. we watched CJ7 today. quite nice la.
CJ7 is so cute. i'm going to make props for my little cousin Atticus so that he will wear to be like that! that guy is actually v lovable when he doesnt throw tantrums. i tried talking sense into him today about not fighting. for some reason. he loves to fight and push people. kick and hit. omg. but somehow i think he wasnt really listening. but if he wasnt why would he so quietly sit in my lap when i reasoned with him. normally he'd just -yes, hit you- and run off or squeal. haha.
i'm dying for the day i have my own kid and am able to teach him or her my values that i believe in. they say its so scary to face little lou but he or she is going to be so cute. haha hardly see a 20 yr old obsessing abt her own kid ya. haha.and i want at least 3 boys and a girl if i cant get twins -which i am dying for-. all cos i want my princess to be pampered by all her brothers. i think having older brothers to take care of you is a lucky thing. speaking of tigger, he went to KTV that day and learnt that silly jocie kwok, guo mei mei's new song..the english version of god is a girl and started singing and dancing. he looks so cute and stupid i cant help but hug him till he gets irritated. haha.
I'm waiting now for my nanny to finish her stuff so she will make nian gao for me. yes the sweet sticky thing that i so love! today cheryl called me auntie! omg ive upgraded. from jie jie to auntie! well seems natural when my brother is uncle. haha. somehow i miss jie jie.. =)
As the year comes ive realised ive spent so much its scary. but then again alot of it is for presents. but ya la i spend a lot on myself too. i should stop spending so much. cos really when i look at my cupboard and the things i wanna buy, not more than often the things resemble each other. so why get when i have a perfectly good substitute at home right. thats my new resolution.
I'm wondering if i can spare time for thai boxing. ive been dying to go but then time is not on my side. i'll try hard to squeeze time out. all of a sudden i realise my visits to US and norway and coming to fast i'm a bit scared. of what i dont know. if i did i wouldnt be. i guess i just hate to go somewhere where i have so many unknown factors. but i have to. and i will, thanks god i'm going with friends. =)
ooh the most impt thing of all. i realised i love my new roomie. she is so cute and so fun to play with. i cant believe i'm missing her just cos she is going back home to malaysia for a few days during cny. and she misses me too. i guess feelings do develop when u stay together. not to mention that she treats me like a little sister. shes is 3 years older than me. but still..i'd feel really sad if when i come back from norway i cant stay with her again =(
vday is coming. somehow i feel excited and sad at the same time. when i saw ah-meow getting ready for vday i felt so sweet at what she was doing. i was thinking ooh thats so sweet i'd love to have that. but only to realise ive gotten that before too. but why did it take me so long to remember. so the saddest thing is not having anyone to love you. but that you cant bear to love and dont want to love that person in return. so in conclusion it is a bliss to love someone and have that someone love you in return. AND be able to make concessions for each other and give way so that you guys will live happily ever after.
somehow today on cny. i feel so serene sitting at home. not wanting to go out for once. haha. maybe tml.
♥
5:01 AM
Friday, February 01, 2008
a very happening week.
monday.
went out to JP for lunch with victor and karen. had so much fun. cos finally we stopped discussing and fretting over tech com cos the teacher is realy giving us such a hard time. omg.
joke of e week : i dont want to invite u to my wedding. if i marry you i wont have to invite you la!
reply : u wanna support her for the rest of ur life just cos u wanna save on one meal?
hahaha. anyway we're planning the singles night for vday. funny ah. haha.
then went to queensway with human it was such a rush. but we got our stuff. but no time for anchor point and ikea. boo hoo! haha.
tues.
only one lesson. sad case day. haha. met TK for lunch and ban mian at hall 13 is the worst ever. moral of the story. if u wanna eat, eat the well known to be edible ones. never ever try new things. esp those that u have never seen ppl eating.
and then dance. omg. it was so fast and so much like a roller coaster ride. girls do all the things in dance. we dip. we turn. we kick. everything. ok la. guys have to hold properly but thats abt it. haha. when is our turn to just pose and let them do the work. kinda glad i found a second partner in competitors class. in technique class my partner is simply so wooden and unresponsive. makes its so awkward to dance with him. i convince myself this is technical. haha. dada says me and my second partner look alike. haha. well for one thing he's been dancing for more than one sem and can lead well. and also its more stable dancing with him. but i have a feeling i wont be dancing with him next time. haha. and my whole body ached after that. the upper torso due to the turning and dipping and the legs due to splitting. its a sport. what do i expect.
wed.
supposed to meet jess for a movie but cos my elec ends so late we had to rush and didnt have proper dinner. i ended up having waffles. we watched 27 dresses. haha quite nice. and my elec was nice too. a movie called gattaca. they show nice sci fic movies really. i had to go early but effy said the ending was awesome. shall watch it online. silly effy says he will send me fried chicken wings in norway during raya. nonsense la. next somehow i went clubbing. dee told the whole world i was going. told everyone BUT ME. cos i havent been going for so long she told everyone i was going. and didnt TELL ME. silly girl. she'd better tell me on the day if i'm gg to be her bridesmaid and she didnt tell me i'm supposed to go for her wedding. lamer haha. went to MOS. so empty. we were so happy cos there was nobody u could just stretch. the podium was just like the few of us at the main arena. but then even smoove wasnt sardine land as usual la. haha and there werent weird ppl! yay! haha. there were banglas la. haha imagine dancing bangla to "the way i are" hahahahaha. omg. apart from the shoes that dee bought me hurt so much that i had to rest often and in the end wear suf's sneakers to dance i had a nice time. i will wear sneakers there next time. my adidas stan smith. to jump up and down. haha. the arena was kinda nice too with the live band except that we couldnt get a front table so we left. the back tables u couldnt see the band and action. couldnt wake up for class. we left MOS at 6 plus. am.
thurs.
very tired day but its jen's birthday so i went out with dee to get her birthday present. i got her diamond studs. oops no its cubic zirconia the next nearest thing to diamond in white gold. both of us went broke for that. haha. everything went into that. she was supposed to meet me at ten. but i had no news of which KTV we were supposed to go to cos Jurong's closes at 3 and we'd prefer the orchard one that closes at 6. her phone had no batt i guess. dee had to go though she wanted to accompany me. but her parents were calling. queensway was closing so i had to leave macs. waiting at the bus stop. in the end took a bus to orchard. waited at orchard mrt. some grp of matts were there. they wanted to come over so i left. i walked to lucky plaza macs. they followed. i was kinda horrified. i left to OG. some guard chased me away saying they are closing.. and i wasnt allowed to sit there. but they followed too. then i went walking ard the area hoping they'd stop. they did. and in the end some bangla came. and somehow i started crying. i dunno why. from looking at the clock and thinking what would i do if she didnt come or went to jurong.. thinking i was there alone cos i spent all my money on her present i didnt have enough for a cab esp since cab prices rised so much now and with midnight surcharge its so expensive back to NTU and i couldnt take MRT if the service stopped. i panicked. i was crying and crying. i felt such a loser and i told myself not to cry. jenny would come. she would never leave me alone. i had to just wait. but somehow i just could stop. i mean its really embarassing crying in the middle of orchard road with no tissue wiping everything disgustingly on my sleeves and makeup ruining and people looking. so i called linda to talk to her so people would stop looking and i could take my mind off being alone by chatting. the whole thing was not abt waiting it was about not knowing where to go and everything was closing and chasing me away. it was kinda stressing. waiting for a hint of where to meet and where i should go. i felt so lost walking down orchard road.that time felt like forever, i kept calling and sms-ing. i feel so stupid for breaking down. im 20. not 12. omg. ive never felt so alone in orchard till then. my mother called and i felt so sad that i had to tell her i was in hostel and she was saying what to cook on friday and i wanted so badly to go home but couldnt tell her where i was or go home. linda was so decisive when i called her. she said where are u now i will go pick u. its not safe and she asked her sister to drive me immediately and her mother was so sweet said.. the one with good skin right.. tell her to come stay a night la. but talking to linda really made me feel better and i told her i would wait for jenny. linda made me laugh and stop crying. i love linda. she kept telling me to leave but.. i mean its her 21st birthday. i could leave on anyday but this. surprisingly i didnt feel angry at all just very tired and scared all night. in the end i realised i could call her friends. not those with her but anyone from business to see if they had anyone's number. those who were with her. i did. and the girl was so shocked to hear me. i tried to sound normal to ask her for the numbers but when i asked where is jenny. i cried again. omg. now i think of it i looked such a wreck crying. anyway jenny came and we sent her friends home and werent home with her to get her stuff and we left for NTU. i was too tired to go anywhere so we just went back to hall bathed and slept. i was so emotionally tired. but i was really happy jen liked her present so much. she wanted something simple to wear to work next time and i had this exact same idea too. to get something evergreen and simple. anyway thank god for linda. really. could tell she was irritated with jen. i know shes in the wrong but i can swear she doesnt mean it. she would have a reason. she was prob driving. and i was so tired.
fri
today i woke up with eyes one third of my original eye. it was so swollen, the girls knew exactly what happened. honestly i got such a shock. i have never ever seen my eyes like that before. shows that i have never cried for so long before. it was like a slit. so small. im like shit shit shit. like i couldnt open my eyes no matter how hard i pried. i was like omg. when linkesh talked to me i could only see his torso at eye level. the length my eyes opened too didnt even see his face. omg. they were saying i looked like a panda. everyone asked me if i was okay. i managed to avoid that embarrassing fact that i cried by telling ppl i didnt sleep enough. even sir asked me.. sleeping ah. omg. shows how bad it was. i have never seen the world in this light before. never. shows how damaging crying is. i finally know how people go blind from crying. omg. after i got home i got some smses from the guys in sch. asking if i was ok. seem odd the way they show concern cos they dont know how to phrase it and am scared to ask the wrong thing but try to comfort anyway but really im touched. no matter what u say. and even offer to let me hit with a pillow. which was what he would hate most normally. sometimes i'm glad my friends although think my character is crazy and unbearable still accept me for who i am and care for me. thats true friendship. i guess thats why i am one lucky girl. i fall among the clouds of their friendship cushioning me. thank you. even dee who had to leave but tried her best to make me happy throughout. and when i got home it suddenly felt nothing mattered anymore. no matter how much mum nags. and i finally admit i am now scared of going out late at night and im not as strong as i think. i'm happy to be home. in my room.
i have a lot to do this week with all the applications and stuff like projects. but i will try to relax to do everything the best i can. i'm happy to be home. and my aunt just bought me clothes. pants jacket and sweater. haha. so happy. from fox and esprit. okies tiring day. i will go sleep. to make my eyes as big as they used to be!
♥
7:06 AM
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
dedicating this to someone.. and anyone who feels the same.
JoJo - Too little too late
Come with me, stay the night
You say the words but boy it don't feel right
What do you expect me to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You take my hand, and you say you've changed
But boy you know your beggin don't fool me
Because to you it's just a game
So let me on down
Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move onI
'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone
And you know
It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
I was young and in love
I gave you everything but it wasn't enough
And now you wanna communicate
Go find someone else
In lettin you go, I'm lovin myself
You gotta problem
But don't come askin me for help
Cause ya know
It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
I can love with all of my heart baby
I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give)
With a player like you, I don't have a prayer
That's the way to live, yeah oh
It's just too little, too late
Yeah
It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
♥
8:14 AM
mood swing week. so much hype on the norway trip. i dont understand the mentality on those who dont wanna go but cant we just leave them alone? omg. spend so much effort psycho-ing them.
been leading a decadent life ever since sch reopened. its mainly characterized by an indulgent lifestyle without responsibility. dunno why. guess the five day week itself is eating up alot of time alrdy leaving me no one single day free to do stuff. there is so much i wanna do. need to do and have to do. aiyah. i still wanna go for thai boxing. im in latin dance but thats quite slack. and im in publications again. shooting for HO tml. tiring.
ppl keep asking me to club. but dunno why not in the mood leh. like over that kind alrdy. like i just wanna dress nice nice pretty pretty go somewhere but not a club. no time to meet up with friends these days. mostly in hall. so tiring to go out except maybe JP. went there last night for dinner. i so love pasar malam food. haha. always no matter how full i am i will eat little bit from there. wish i had more time to go out. now i just go out on sat for a day and im totally busted and tired. im officially getting old.
just discovered my new roomate is very fun to play with. she is so funny. just have to discover more.. haha. i will miss her if i go away for my exchange and when i come back cant stay with her anymore. hard to get used to someone and change again.
i dreamt again that i ran away from my own wedding at the door. scary. i always hv such a dream. i hope it doesnt come true. ys says i will have mother in law conflicts. haha. thats long to go la huh.
alot to do. a lot to plan. i need my life to be full. with goodness. like cereal. maybe a bit of chocolate sometimes. lots of it. haha.
♥
12:24 AM
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
so a new sch week has started. felt like its still hols. ive been out every single day last week. with our girls.. and ppl i meet up with. had bbq at toon's hse on sat. despite my resolution not to drink they made this rocking drink which was kahlua + milk + bailey's = lovely milkshake! i drank a lot! but really not much alcohol was in it la. it was like a milkshake. haha. we had fun playing mj and bbq ing. haha. his hse is so modern. haha. but then again.. prob harder to upkeep. had fun that day la. think i scared his bro by throwing a mj tile at yj. haha and bz went crazy la..haha we played guessing games physically. haha by standing up and virtually dancing. haha. but his whole family is very nice la. makes sure we have fun and mix with us too. and i left b4 the soccer match cos i hafta get up early and the next day's full too. nice to have tigger send me home when all i have to do is call. i sure love having him ard though hes always tired and lazing at home. its family. tigger is willing to bounce ard town to find me when i need him. and he got me a coach wristlet cos i wanted one for my bdae. haha. i love tigger! not hard to see why his gf does everything for him. its nice to have an elder bro. to take up whatever u dont want to do. haha. dad. mum. thats what ur son is here for. haha. =)
my aim this sem is to work hard and play hard! i joined latin dance in sch. ha. and although my 5 day week is busy.. i think i'll have more time too. just cut my hair again. cudnt stand it on sun and my aunt told me go la. if not cny v ex. so ok. not bad, i liked the fringe though the tops still so short. somehow i cudnt stand growing past that stage where i endure for the long hair. haha. the hairstylist guy is so gay. haha. he acts cute like no one. haha. and my aunt enjoyed talking to him. i guess hes fun to entertain la. haha. my weekends are now damn precious cos i have so little time at home!
went to see ys play ivp yday. he sprained his ankle. i got so excited seeing them play. the tp team is good. they underestimated them. really the young just seem to have so much energy. i feel old. argh. some guys are so cute too. haha. but too young la. not mature. curse at referee get yellow card. haha. they lost.i felt so sad. they cud hv won. the scores are quite close and they cud have pulled it back.
phone. no my singtel line is having prob here. the 2G network is congested. seems like i have to change it to a 3G one. i complained so they'll give it to me FOC. only this is the prob in boonlay. cant wait. irritating me and ppl when they cant get me.
ppl ard me arent very happy these days. but lou is here to shine the rainbow! haha. so that everyone ard me is happy. - what can i do to make u happy-
♥
6:57 AM
